


Ten Reasons Why Steve Rogers Hates Sleeping With Maria Hill

by remnants_of_a_lost_dream



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Developing Relationship, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, Mild Smut, Multi, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6973228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remnants_of_a_lost_dream/pseuds/remnants_of_a_lost_dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A relationship told through escapades in bed. (It's not what it sounds like.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ten Reasons Why Steve Rogers Hates Sleeping With Maria Hill

**Author's Note:**

> ayyyyyy this is somehow still less than 1000 words wtf. i present to you a lot of crack and cheesiness. enjoy

One

The first time they share a bed is on their first missions together. Steve quickly learns that Agent Maria Hill is awake even when she is asleep, and that making any sort of noise while peeing in the middle of the night is punishable by a knife being thrown at you. 

The lieutenant apologizes for her quick reflexes, of course. 

Two

They grow use to sharing a bed as they work together more and more on missions, and, much to Steve’s delight, the trust grows between them. And apparently so does the lack of personal space. 

Maria Hill is not a tactile person, but she slowly becomes accepting of the platonic touches Steve gives her. 

And so of course she starts stealing the fucking blankets. 

Three

The awkwardness of sharing a bed increases by approximately 500% after Steve kisses her “for the cover.” Maria is not fucking fooled. His cheek stings with the force of her slap. 

He stays awake for a very long time when they’re in bed together at the hotel, waiting for an extraction team. So many life regrets. 

He sighs again, quietly, as to not disturb his sleeping partner, until she rolls over and tucks her head under his chin, and kisses him gently on the lips. 

“You don’t want me,” she tells him.

Four

They roll into bed together after Maria brings them to Fury’s secret base, too tired to acknowledge their very very strictly professional relationship. 

When Steve wakes up in the middle of the night, Maria’s there, clinging to him and crying. “Please,” she whispers. “Promise me you can do what it takes.” 

They make love that night.

Five

Sex with Maria is out of this world, and Steve Rogers is not necessarily an inexperienced lover. 

The one thing that bothers the neat freak inside him is how much Maria comes, and how it gets all over his sheets, so he’s changing his sheets almost every time they have sex. 

Six

They also both end up ripping little holes in the sheets when they have really good, mind-blowing sex. 

The old lady selling sheets around the corner now knows Steve personally, and he has a discount card because she pities his bank account. 

Seven

Sometimes the diamonds on Steve’s ring will get caught in Maria’s hair at night. This is something that he does not understand in the slightest. She always laughs and calls him a dork, but it definitely ruins the mood in the morning when he has to take five minutes to untangle his hand.

Eight

Being on the run (again, for the millionth time) is not fun. Steve misses Maria so much sometimes that he thinks his heart is broken, like an old clock that a past lover threw out into the dump. 

He wonders if she misses him.

Maria Hill is a woman of strength, with a spirit that no man can break. So she hates that when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she has his pillow clutched tightly in her arms, and it smells so much like him. (She also hates that she wants him there so badly when that thing inside her broke, and she cried.) 

Nine  
The sheets provided by a Wakandan king are very nice indeed. T’Challa was also kind enough to provide room and board for two very gay, very horny assholes by the name of Steve’s friends. Maria Hill simply cannot have sex when she can hear every single noise made by the couple next door. 

Ten

Maria Rogers-Hill is like an angel when she sleeps, and Steve loves her. 

(She calls him a sap when he tells her that.)

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what yo thinkkkkk  
> also hit me up on tumblr: theinboxficer.tumblr.com

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [ten reasons why Steve Rogers hates living with Maria Hill](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6985789) by [macbethattempest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/macbethattempest/pseuds/macbethattempest)




End file.
